When the phone rang yesterday at 7:34 am I didn't realize then that I would remember that time forever. From the soft, heartbroken and weakened German voice of Mikes girlfriend Barbara, I heard words I didn't think were possible, "He's dead". All I could muster was a prolonged and voice cracking "noooo".
Mike was more to me than a friend, he was a brother, a mentor and my sole guidance through some of the darkest times in my life. I can't believe he is gone.
3 weeks ago we were skiing across the Wapta Icefields together. I was trying to convince him that ski touring is like easy summer mountaineering except you can ski down at the end of the day. We laughed together. As he skied the slope above Bow hut I could see that despite this being perhaps his 1oth day on skis, the discomfort of boots with blown out liners (bought the day before at the consignment store), big skis and a HUGE pack he was having the time of his life. I could see the concentration in his eyes as he reached me and we prepared to keep going. This same enthusiastic mindset was applied to everything from cooking to organic chemistry.
I met Mike in the late nineties while belaying our friend Jon on a cold and windy "bridge" climb in Edmonton. He saw that I was cold and gave me his sweater, we spoke and I knew he was a unique person right away. What followed were the best 5 years I have had as a climber, we succeeded, learned and failed together in the Rockies that we both loved. Leaving Edmonton on Thursday night ( I had Fridays off) we would drive to Jasper or Banff, sleep in the parking lot and climb the next day. We would drive home that night so Mike could finish a chemical reaction in the lab, usually without sleep. We did this almost every week for these five years in Edmonton.
Mike was committed. He worked harder than anyone I know to accomplish what he saw as the right thing. He graduated from Queens University before moving to Edmonton for his Phd in chemistry, something that he knew he could work with and create change in what he saw as the biggest problem we face, the environmental crisis. A cornerstone to Mike was his tremendous desire to effect change and he did. When I moved to Canmore he moved to Holland for his post doctorate, he maintained close ties with his friends in Canada and we planned trips every summer in the Rockies. Upon moving back he got a job as a professor at York University and started to work on the research that he had aspired to since graduating high school.
What is so hard is not just the pseudo selfishness of losing one of my very best friends but also the thought that the people who he would have influenced as a teacher and friend will not have the privilege. I feel a void in my world.
I love you man.
21 comments:
Mike was uncompromising with himself. He wanted to be the best climber, the best chemist, and the best person he could be. It took him several years to be able to balance his burning desire for new routes with the intransigence of Rockies climbing.
He worked hard at everything he did and he had an indefatigable interest in learning everything he could. I can't recall a single time he ever let me down. For years, he moved heaven and earth to join us every summer for our annual climbing outing.
It's going to be really hard not to have him along. We miss you already.
G.
We'd like to link this posting to our academic blog, as a former student of Prof. Pollard's has written a nice tribute to him.
Rate Your Students
http://rateyourstudents.blogspot.com
rateyourstudents@hotmail.com
Anonymous: I am OK with that.
Thanks
Ross
He was my prof. One of the best Prof that I had at york so far. He was very committed to his work and I still can't believe that he passed away. It's so hard to digest this. I did not know him in person but still am very much moved by this incident. Its been two days and I still can not focus on my studies. I still hope its just a bad dream :( I miss you prof. Hope you rest in peace.
I could not believe when I got the message... Mike was more than just a friend, he was an extraordinary person: as a scientist, as a colleague and a friend. We met in Groningen... worked together and than he went back home... to the place he could not imagine to live without, to his beloved mountains in Canada... We miss you Mike…
I was a student of Dr. Pollard last year 2009, he thought me organic chem. 2020. He was the best professor I had since enrolling in the chem. Program at York University. He was never too busy or too ill-tempered to listen to your questions and to help. I loved his lectures because he lectured in a manner that was very open and approachable. Because of this, I did speak with him in the hallways whenever I saw him. I remember one time in the summer of 2009, he came to photocopy something as I was waiting to get coffee. He smiled and asked me how I was doing and then we spoke a bit about his research, there was something welcoming and friendly about him. He always had a smile on his face and never refused to help you out. I can’t believe he’s goon, once I joked to him that he looks like a student and not a professor. I hope you’re at a better place Dr. Pollard, thank you for all your advices and insights, you will be truly missed.
I spoke with Mike after he got back from his climbing trip. He clearly had a blast.
I want to link to this blog from the departmental website. OK?
Its ok by me to link this to the dept site.
Thanks,
Ross
Prof. Pollard was one in a million. He showed a deep love and passion about organic chemistry and the students knew it. I was fortunate to be one of those students. He wanted everyone to succeed and do their best. I am grateful and honoured to have been taught by him. I realized that he was doing things that he loved-climbing is something I did not know. Thank you for all your help. You are truly missed :(.
He was a great professor and left a lasting impression on all of his students. He definitely cared for his students and will be greatly missed. Rest in Peace Professor Pollard.
When the surgeon called me in and asked 'are you with someone' - my heart stopped beating, and I knew that something terrible had happened. the shock that followed was my worst nightmare coming true: he was still alive but wouldn't make it through the night. minutes later, I was with him, his hand was getting cold - I couldn't bear the site of it - I ran out of the surgery room. it is so dark now.
why...? what if...? could...? He never knew what would happen, was cheerful, optimistic, joking and smiling, until the end - as he has always been. He lived a happy and satisfied live. One of his biggest dreams became true, he became a professor. His true passion remained with climbing and mountaineering. I met him in a country without rocks - his passion became my passion, he was love, mentor, and friend. When he went on his adventures with his friends, he came back smiling full of stories and memories. The times with his friends in the mountains made him the happiest. Nothing should have been different.
I miss his smile, the wrinkles in his face, his voice, his hug - the earth stopped spinning,
Mike, I love you
Mike was a good friend. He was always interested in the world in general, in your world in particular. We'd talk about chemistry, we'd talk about climbing; we talked about chemistry while climbing. We got busted for climbing a CN rail bridge at 7 am on a Sunday and sat in the back of the CN police car as Mike's watch beeped, letting him know it was time to get back to the lab to check on a reaction. It was all part of the Mike experience, an experience unlike any other. Chemistry, climbing, love, the frenzied search for some type of order. And all the time, the knowledge that we were having too much fun to care if we ever found the answers.
I have so many precious memories, and I was looking forward to so many more. Beginning with an ascent of Rainier with Guillermo in 1998, Mike was a huge part of my life; he was a part of what I realize every day were the truly most pivotal years for me. When he moved away to Europe to further his passion for chemistry, I missed him and we didn't talk as often. But when we would get together for the annual climbing trip, all was as it had been before. He would pack and set out with the same chaotic enthusiasm, "carrying all before him as in the great days", laughing with satisfaction, like a pirate who'd just pulled off another caper.
These are just some of the moments I hold with you Mike. We're all better people for having spent time with you. There's a hole inside me, inside the world, now that you're gone. I miss you so much.
Jon
He was my buddy next to me in the lab for 2 years. I had the hardest time to drag him away from the lab and office work on friday evenings for the borrel, but when I did by crawling over the floor he could be convinced to have a drink. I regret not having contact with him for a year now.
Missing my creative soulmate, science has lost one of the greatest.
Johan
Mike and I met at U of A in 1996 when we joined the lab of Dr. John Vederas. We spent our days in the class and the lab, and some evenings with friends ballroom dancing. He always had a smile on his face and it was so contagious. He worked so hard many nights by himself in the lab, his music cranked with his head stuck in a book, or with hands madly getting his sample prepared for NMR.
We had kept in touch since I graduated in 2001, and I was so excited for him when he found a position at York.
His enthusiasm for life and his chemistry, and his dedication to his friends was clearly evident.....I am so grateful that he shared a part of his life with me.
At the beginning of last week, I had a dream about Mike....that my family and I went to visit him at York University and surprised him. His expression was priceless when he realized that I was not a graduate student looking for a supervisor! I thought about him the rest of the week and planned on contacting him this week. It was very sad when I received the news. I wish I would have talked to him...I have learned that we must listen to our hearts and when the universe is calling to us, you must call back. I will miss him very much, he was always someone I could turn to for words of encouragement, a great conversation, and a good laugh. Such a genuine person, who had a zest for life, good food, great friends, chemistry, and of course a love of the mountains and nature.
I have been writing a poem in Mike's honour and would love for someone close to him to read it at his service this weekend. If someone can let me know if this would be possible, It would be greatly appreciated.
I wish to extend my deepest sympathies to Mike's love Barbara and his Mom and Dad. May you find new strength each day. And to all of Mike's close friends, especially Ross and Guillermo, just remember his smile and that great attitude he had...nothing can beat that!
We will miss you.
Jen
I knew something was wrong when I read Guillermo's email message asking me to call him, a one liner. I took a deep breath and after a few niceties, G said "Anu, Mike died last night". Once I realized he was serious, I immediately felt lost despite the fact that Mike and I hadn't spoken in 6 months. I cried as I spoke with Jon and Ross, needing to confirm the news.
Mike was someone I saw myself laughing with at 70 at our various memories. We had grown to love each other as spiritual companions in this life. I'll never forget the many beautiful quiet moments in nature together, the crazy car trip in SA where we ate Impala for Christmas, his facial expressions at pushy Istanbul merchants attempting to sell him carpets; the long conversations about changing the world walking along the railway tracks near whyte ave., the cooking of elaborate meals for friends in Groningen...
His integrity, generosity, resilience, and passion for everything he approached inspires me. Miss that cheeky smile and your twinkling eyes!
chocolate lovely.
The last time I saw Mike we had him over for a quiet dinner, at our house in the suburbs. And yet, not unsurprisingly, we had an adventure. Even when Mike didn’t seek out adventures, I think they tended to pop around him.
Our neighbour knocked on our door after dinner, in a panic because his youngest son Travis had fallen and cut his eye badly. They asked us to take care of their five-year-old, Zachary, while they rushed off to the hospital. Poor Zachary was dropped off in a hurry – he’d obviously been pulled sleeping out of bed and didn’t even have socks on.
While I worked away cleaning up, I could hear Mike, Mark and my brother-in-law Anthony in the other room, entertaining Zachary with crayons, questions and encouragement. It wasn’t long before Zachary was happily exploring the house, and when his dad came back to take him to his grandparents’, Zachary exclaimed that he didn’t need to go home – he was having a great time.
It was pretty late by then, and Mike headed home. I like the fact that the last thing we did together was to turn what could have been a frightening night into a fun adventure for a little boy.
Hi Ross,
I hope you are doing well since we met in Ottawa. I thank you for sharing so many great memories with us. Can you please contact me by email in the next few days?
thanks so much
Jennifer
Sorry to hear your loss. I'll be praying for you and his family.
I just learned, by accident, about Mike's tragic death. I am still in a shock… My Ph.D. years at U of A overlapped his, and though we did not really get to know each other, even from limited encounters it was evident that he was genuinely a very nice guy. I remember that he came to my defense and I felt supported. My deepest sympathies for his family, friends and many people who knew him who must still be having a difficult time after this sudden tragedy.
Megumi Fujita
To Barbara:
'Tell Barbara that I loved her dearly and I'm sorry for leaving so early.
-Mike'
For the longest time, I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked, and to my own surprise, devastated. I had failed Organic Chemistry the first time at York, and repeated it with the new prof, Dr. M. Pollard. After I had had a “disagreement” with him, I had dropped the course and started going out of my way to avoid him thereafter. He said, “It’s all water under the bridge.” I believe that “hindsight is 20/20” – we were both wrong.
I was getting ready to give away my copy of "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel, when I reread a bookmarked passage. I would like to include it here in memory of Dr. Pollard:
I wept like a child. It was not because I was overcome at having survived my ordeal, though I was. Nor was it the presence of my brothers and sisters, though that too was very moving. I was weeping because Richard Parker had left me so unceremoniously. What a terrible thing it is to botch a farewell. I am a person who believes in form, in the harmony of order. Where we can, we must give things a meaningful shape. . . . It’s important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse. That bungled goodbye hurts me to this day. (316)
I remain impressed with Dr. Pollard’s hard work, dedication, and his ability to make things happen. He once asked me what he could do to improve the lectures. I asked him to speak slower, knowing full well that he couldn’t, in the 50-minute time frame. But he did slow down. Maybe I should also have asked him to stop joking because I found it distracting, but that might’ve been hypocritical given my own humorous tendencies.
Once I was impertinent enough to comment on a $10 bill pinned to the bulletin board in his office, saying that it could attract wealth. He replied, hinting towards the papers on the board, that he wanted to pile up publications. Students, in general, must be super-annoying. I still remember the trash basket in his office was filled with empty coffee cups, and there was a balding spot on the back of his head, despite his young age.
Maybe “the good die young”. Maybe Dr. Pollard won. But surely, “when it’s time to go, you go.”
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